Ok, ok, ok…
For starters, my middle name really is, well, Payne. Spelled p a y n e as opposed to p a i n. So yeah, the title is partly true and mostly clickbait. In my defense, how could I have such a cool middle name and not use it to my advantage? Gotta love those “punny” titles!
Jokes aside, I was originally going to name this blog, “Why I Don’t Hate Pain.” But regardless of what the title is, here are my recent thoughts on pain…
Last year I finished The Space Trilogy by C.S. Lewis. It took me way too long to get to the end, but then again I’m just glad I didn’t quit halfway through! Anyway, there was one quote that I haven’t been able to get out of my head, and it surfaces anytime I walk through something difficult.
“I do not think the forest would be so bright, nor the water so warm, nor love so sweet, if there were no danger in the lakes.” – C.S. Lewis Out of the Silent Planet
For instance,
Here in Guatemala there is an abundance of volcanoes. Two weeks ago, I hiked one of them. That’s right, me and 40 brave / insane explorers from my squad decided to take on Volcan Acatenango. A dormant (I think) volcano with an elevation of just over 13,000 ft. The best part, Acatenango sits right next to Fuego – the most active volcano in Guatemala. Yeah, pretty cool… or should I say, straight FIRE!
Unfortunately for us, actually hiking up the volcano wasn’t as easy as making that pun. It was tough, real tough.
The first hour of this hike is enough to tire you out let alone the next SIX hours of seemingly endless switchbacks, slippery volcanic sand, invasive dust, and thin air. After a while all you can think about is the next break. I’m for sure not an avid hiker, but I am fairly athletic and this hike kicked my butt! It was painful. BUT SO WORTH IT!
Here’s proof the views were worth the trouble:
The photos truly don’t do it justice. Unless you’re up at 13,000 ft watching a freaking volcano erupt, blowing bright red lava into the night sky under a full moon with your own eyes you really can’t grasp the fullness of what we saw.
At the same time, I would also argue that unless you experienced the pain it took to get there that you also would not be able to fully understand just how rewarding the top was.
Like, if you had someone drive you up there, or somehow had a helicopter drop you off at the summit it would be cool (don’t get me wrong), but it wouldn’t be as meaningful. Without the pain and struggle, the payoff is somehow cheapened. I think it’s the same way with life.
Without understanding / tasting the depths of pain you will never truly know the depths of joy. It is the danger in the water that makes the forrest so bright and vibrant.
In my observation, we exist in a culture that tries its best to avoid or cushion pain, and I’m as guilty as anyone. I 100% do what I can to take the easy route and get the results I want with the least amount of effort possible. If I’m trying to learn a new song on Guitar, I hit the “transpose” button 7 times until I can play it in the key of G so as to avoid the super tricky bar chords. I’ll for sure take microwavable leftovers over cooking a meal from scratch any day.
I’m soft.
It reminds me of one of Bane’s lines in The Dark Knight Rises. Upon his first fight with Batman he feels the surprising weakness of the Caped Crusader’s punches and observes, “Peace has cost you your strength. Victory has defeated you.”
That line HIT me like a devastating headbutt from Bane himself!
I so value comfort, convenience, ease, and a pleasurable life experience that I MISS OUT on the lessons, beauty, and depth of pain. I’ve robbed myself of challenge and seeing what I’m really made of and of what I’m truly capable.
I for sure don’t want you to think that I’m some masochistic millennial; however, I do want to invite you into a mindset I am trying to adopt. The mindset that accepts, rejoices in, and searches for the meaning in pain. Without it, I think my life experience will be flabby, shallow, and unchallenged.
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In closing, I call to mind David when he explained to Saul why he refused the king’s armor. Let me say that again, HE REFUSED THE KING’S ARMOR!
Why would he do that? I mean, Saul’s armor was for sure highest quality in Israel!
The Bible explains why,
“Then Saul clothed David with his armor. He put a helmet of bronze on his head and clothed him with a coat of mail, and David strapped his sword over his armor. And he tried in vain to go, for he had not tested them. Then David said to Saul, “I cannot go with these, for I have not tested them.” So David put them off. Then he took his staff in his hand and chose five smooth stones from the brook and put them in his shepherd’s pouch. His sling was in his hand, and he approached the Philistine.” – 1 Samuel 17:38-40.
David didn’t trust armor he hadn’t tested.
Much the same way, the quality of your fruit (fruit of the Spirit) the vibrancy of your perspective, and the experience of your life will be SO MUCH MORE when it is tested, challenged, and strengthened through struggle…through pain.
So here’s to rising to the challenge and embracing what we have worked so hard to avoid because of the reward, the depth, and the views it brings!
