Problems In Peru

Peru was rough. Real rough. 

When writing blogs or editing videos in retrospect it’s easy to publish the polished version of what happened. The truth, however, is more a more prickly affair. So this blog is the not so pretty version of what Peru was like.

Month 3 began with a painfully long bus extravaganza. We departed from Quito, Ecuador and arrived in Lima, Peru 38 hours later. I say extravaganza because on said bus my feet became swollen, I was carsick for a few hours, we had to wake up in the middle of the night to talk to border crossing officers, tried to fall back asleep but was awoken once more to walk in a pointless circle, and did I mention that this trip was 38 hours? Yeah, it wasn’t my favorite. Unfortunately, Peru was off key the minute its music began to play. 

The first item on our agenda was to meet up with our host at the bus station and then stay a night or two in Lima. After a few hours at the station, we connected with our host and eventually arrived at the hostel. Lima definitely surprised me. It wasn’t at all what I imagined. Maybe it’s because I didn’t do any research, or it could possibly be due to the fact that I had this Emperor’s New Groove setting in my mind. Either way, I was thinking lush, green, culturally rich, and utter beauty. What I actually saw was desert, traffic, and dust… bring it on. 

Our stay in Lima was supposed to be short. The plan was to wait for a call from the Peruvian military confirming our transportation into the jungle (our host had some connections). Unfortunately, the military escort fell through which stranded us in Lima for a few more days than what was originally planned. This wasn’t a big deal. I’ve been on missions trips before and I know that flexibility is key because plans ALWAYS change. The aspect that began stressing me out though, was my responsibility to relay information to my teammates. With details up for grabs I found myself trying to people please by giving as much info as I could which turned into multiple meetings a day and only raised more questions from the peanut gallery. Translation… stress. 

I’ve learned a lot as a team leader throughout the world race journey. Two big things I learned is that I am not detail minded, nor am I a natural delegator. These are two areas I’ve grown in since Peru, but while in country, I was trying to shoulder all the details and responsibilities myself which caused me to crumble. I began to feel isolated from my team, like I was on an island all by myself and no one was rowing over to check on me or offer help. This is how I went into the jungle. That’s right, the jungle. Hot, humid, bugs, wild vegetation, tropical everything, and a team that, at the time, I was weary of. 

Our first stop on team LIT’s Peruvian jungle tour was in a little town called Rio Tambo. We honestly made so many great memories in this little town. Spending time with the sweet students at the school, watching my teammates dance in the pouring rain, playing soccer in the surprisingly nice field, and slipping in the mud and basically dislocating my wrist. These are just a few of the times with my team that I will never forget. But when Peru comes to mind I have to work to remember those times because the overall theme for me is stress, frustration, and discouragement. 

In Rio Tambo I finally had a conversation with Jenny our squad leader who was spending her month as a part of our team. I am so thankful Jenny was with us this month, I literally don’t know what I would have done without her. Through a bunch of tears I laid all my emotions out on the table for her and listened as she responded with such grace and wisdom. It was in this conversation that I began realizing my job isn’t to make everyone happy. My job isn’t to try and be something that I’m not. Rather, my job is to be Connor. To walk confidently in the identity that God has given me. To be the leader I was created to be and walk in my strengths while inviting others into my weaknesses. 

Eventually, we made it to the second town, Cubantia. Another jungle experience that gave us a true sense of tribal life. Most likely not the tribal you’re thinking of, however. If you’re interested in seeing what it was like please watch the video that is linked at the bottom of this blog. In Cubantia we met amazing people, were able to minister to children at the schools, experienced some hurt, drank out of coconuts, spoke with the president of the tribes, and were impacted in a profound way. 

By the time we left the jungle, we were sad to leave but at the same time we were ready to move on. I was ready to move on. I was looking forward to getting to our next ministry and leaving this tough chapter behind. I wanted a reset and in my mind that would come once we entered Bolivia. I had built up Peru in my mind thinking it would be this amazing and incredible place… you know, the way everyone describes it. But I left disappointed. 

Isn’t that just how it works. We create these expectations in our minds and assume all will go according to plan. That is to say, our plan. For whatever reason, I tend to forget that God has a plan for Connor and His is the one that matters. God didn’t promise me a comfortable, non-challenging year. I believe He brought me on the race to bring the gnarly stuff to the surface of my heart, to press into my deep seeded insecurities, to teach me what I wasn’t learning in America, and I believe Peru was His scalpel. The tool He used to specifically and precisely cut out leadership shortcomings while bringing to light the things I needed to grow in. 

At the end of the day, I am thankful for Peru. Thankful that things don’t always work out the way I want them to. Thankful to serve a God who loves me enough to grow me even though that often means discomfort. And thankful for a trip that allows me to experience and learn from highs and lows. 

Thanks for reading!